miercuri, 3 septembrie 2008

Another day


Another desert morning ... karina sleeps .. and it is quiet.
It is quiet in the forest too... all the creatures are still sleeping...but not me ..
How wonderful is to drink your coffee and make plans for a new day! A new day which may be the same one as yesterday or maybe not ...
This morning has something special, something that turns me back in the past .. maybe because the air is not as damp as always ... maybe
The thoughts start to escape me; they are rolling in my mind like an avalanche and I don't want to stop them because they are beautiful memories.
Memories which transpose me into a world of shadows, of those who are far or are in a better place ...
While the shadows crosses my mind , I look at the forest and my eyes are growing dim . Here, in the presence of the forest I can let the soul to cry.. I know that the forest will not tell anyone ... how many tears, pain and joy saw this forest? I don't know .. probably too many ...
I look up to the trees crown easily softly touched by the autumn`s life breath which is nearing and I am crying from the deep down of my soul: "Where are you my forest from home? Where is that time gone when I was playing and running barefooted on the dusty alleys at my grandparents small village or when I watched, on the night before Christmas , at the snowed up apple tree which was glistening in small shiny stars? Where is my field of wheat poppied ..?


It has been a long time since I've senced the flavour of a quince: its a lost aroma, encountered only in my childhood .. and the fire crackin in the simple stove of my grandparents ..
And where are my mountains and my sea? They are left behind .. in a place that I loved and I still love .. a place who has chased me , a place which I left, going to another destiny... I know is a better destiny with a decent living in a civilized world .... but still, it is so hard to me to be far from home; and nothing could describe how hard it is ... you understand, you forest? "


She slowly moves the crowns of her trees as a response ...she is discreet and a good listener.
She knows to listen to a story of a different destiny ...


And to show me that she is listening,the forest is sending me a sign...slowly, slowly a leaf is faling from a tree and spreads out smoothly at my feet ...
The forest is comming to life:I can hear now thousands of sounds of birds and insects swarming .. Karina slowly yammer .... I get the leaf from my feet and then I wipe off a tear .....
Another day in which life goes ahead with or without my longings and memories.
But tomorrow is another day; the forest will be here and I will too ....



Inca o dimineata pustie...Karina doarme.. si e liniste.
E liniste si in padure ...toate vietatile inca dorm..numai eu nu
Ce minunat sa bei cafeaua si sa faci panuri pentru o noua zi! O noua zi care va fi poate ca cea de ieri sau poate ca nu...
Dimineata asta are ceva deosebit , ceva ce ma intoarce in trecut ..poate ca aerul care nu mai e asa umed cum e mai mereu... poate.
Si gandurile incep sa-mi fuga; se rostogolesc in minte ca o avalansa si nu vreau sa le stopez pentru ca sunt amintiri superbe.
amintiri care ma transpun intr-o lume a umbrelor, a celor care sunt departe sau sunt intr-un loc mai bun...
In timp ce las umbrele sa -mi strabata mintea privesc padurea si ochii mi se impaienjenesc. Aici , in prezenta ei pot sa-mi strig oful; stiu ca nu va spune nimanui...oare cate lacrimi, dureri si bucurii a vazut padurea asta? nu stiu..probabil ca multe...
Imi ridic ochii spre coroana copacilor atinsi usor de suflarea toamnei care se apropie si strig in adancul sufletului:"unde esti padurea mea de acasa? unde s-au dus vremurile cand alergam in picioarele goale prin colbul marunt din satul bunicilor sau cand priveam in prag de Craciun marul inzapezit care stralucea in mici stelute argintii ? unde este campia mea plina de maci crescuti prin lanul de grau..?
Nu am mai simtit aroma de gutuie demult: e o aroma pierduta, intalnita numai in copilaria mea..si focul trosnind in soba simpla a bunicilor meu ..ce s-a intamplat cu ea oare??
Si unde sunt marea si muntii mei? Au ramas in urma ..intr-un loc pe care l-am iubit si il iubesc..un loc care m-a gonit si din care am plecat spre un alt destin..e un destin mai bun, stiu asta, cu o viata decenta intr-o lume civilizata dar.... dar im e greu; si nimic nu poate descrie cat imi este de greu...intelegi tu, padure??

Isi misca incet coroanele copacilor ca un raspuns...e discreta si stie sa asculte. Stie sa asculte o poveste despre un alt destin ...

Si ca sa-mi arate ca ma asculta imi trimite un semn: incet , incet o frunza se desprinde de undeva dintr-un copac si se asterne lin la picioarele mele...
Padurea prinde viata: mii de sunete de pasari si gaze roind se aud de acum..karina scanceste incetisor....ridic frunza de la picioarele mele si imi sterg pe furis o lacrima .....
Inca o zi in care viata merge inainte cu sau fara amintirile si dorurile mele.
Dar si maine e o zi; padurea va fi tot aici ca de altfel si eu....


3 comentarii:

...tiktakro... spunea...

You have such a sensible soul, Dana dear. Reading your lines I find myself crying ( ashamed) because I still live here ( in the home forest) and I just can't see the "beauty" of it because of dirt and stress that surrounds. And sometime, longtime ago I did have a diry like yours...a diary with leaves, a diary of soul. But life comes over and I loose that sensibility. Keep awake yours, remain the same...Say hello to your forest from me ;))

Dora spunea...

Dana, stiu ca dorul de tara e o boala grea, de fapt nu stiu, dar am auzit de la altii...ai scris foarte frumos...
Si da, "maine" va fi o noua zi si Karina e langa tine si e cel mai bun leac ca sa-ti aline dorul :)

Petit Patch spunea...

Ce frumos scrii! Vad ca ai si un jurnal veritabil, scris pe hârtie, scrisul e o adevarata terapie. Ai sa vezi caci cu timpul sentimentul acesta se va estompa si te vei integra în noua ta tara de adoptie. Asa a fost si pentru mine, acum dupa 28 de ani aici,
m-am integrat. Dar oricum tara unde ne-am nascut ne ramâna undeva în coltul inimii si ne aducem aminte cu drag, mai ales de copilarie....
Zi buna lânga padurea asta minunata!
Smaranda

Am obosit...